Dear Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi (Tehran’s acting prayer leader). I like to apologize for causing all the quakes. It is my promiscuous behavior that makes quakes happen just like you said to the media. Every time I put on something sexy, I am causing massive earthquakes killing thousands of people and I am sorry. So the next time I put on a see through thong or maybe just wear nothing at all, I won’t ask myself how hawt is this outfit. Instead I’ll ask myself, is this hot enough to kill a hundred people or thousands? Because who dresses like sluts? Earthquake starters do!