Countess – (n.) the wife or widow of a nobleman on the continent of Europe, equal in rank to an English earl. Well, when it comes to our Countess, she is CamWithHer nobility indeed. She has honored us with her lavish curves, her coy yet sparkling personality, an uncanny wit and an Aussie accent that can get a man’s blood pumping (among other things). Though she has been here for just over a year, this woman of “down under” has collected several loyal subjects. I took a trip down under to speak with our Australian beauty at a comfy little café near her home.
SM: Countess, thank you for allowing me to come here and see your beautiful country. This is quite the little spot you’ve got happening here, but enough of the “howdies” let’s get down to business. Let’s start with an easy one. Where are you from originally?
Countess: I’m from Australia.
SM: Have you always lived here?
Countess: I’ve always lived here except for a brief three month stint in Malaysia when my Dad was working up there. Living in a primarily Islamic (and very poor) country opened me up to so many things and I would totally recommend it to any parents who want open-minded kids. And it costs around $4 a day to have a translator / babysitter / maid take you shopping!
SM: Besides the brief experience in Malaysia, what type of experiences did you have growing up here in Australia?
Countess: I think I had a pretty regular suburban-style upbringing. Lots of riding bikes in the street with the other local kids and reading books in the backyard. My house was popular because I had a pool. I never had any ‘real’ pets as a kid because my sister is wildly allergic to fur. I went to the local primary school and then a private all-girls tartan-skirt-wearing high school (no, I’m not a gazillionaire, private schools are cheaper in Australia). I had an upbringing that was pretty perfect.
SM: I can definitely see perfect sitting here across from me that’s for sure. I’m curious, what were you like in high school?
Countess: My high school was all-girls so I didn’t really know any boys. There were a couple on the bus in the morning, but I didn’t talk to them. I was way too shy and high school boys were gross. At school, I just mostly hung out with my friends in the library. I loved neopets back then and we always got the librarian to order in loads of fantasy and sci-fi books. I was a good student, but whenever we had stuff on in the school chapel, I’d sneak out and go to the café down the road instead. We went to that café a lot in final year.
SM: Well I didn’t see an all-girls school down the road so I’m guessing it wasn’t this café. Switching gears for a second, I know you had a health situation as a baby. Can you explain what happened for those that don’t know?
Countess: I had a Congenital Heart Defect. Essentially the big issue was that there was a great big hole in the heart and the blood that’s full of oxygen mixed with the blood that had already run out of oxygen within the heart itself. I had blue lips and really pink cheeks as a baby. Because it was the late 80’s they fixed it by doing a traditional Open Heart Surgery operation. I’m fine now but I have some pretty decent scarring down my chest and on my back as well as my infamous “second bellybutton” which is actually a mark from where a massive oxygen tube went directly into my heart.
SM: Well, you seem to be doing pretty well now. I mean look at you! Now, I know you are going to school. What’s your major?
Countess: I’m doing a Bachelor of Architecture and a Bachelor of Arts in Modern Greek Studies. (We don’t really do the ‘majors’ thing at Australian universities). This is my fifth year at university and I’m expecting to be there for another year after this or maybe a year and a half. I’m looking forward to graduating (from both degrees) so I can get on with my life!
SM: Speaking of moving on with your life, where do you see you and your career in ten years?
Countess: In 10 yrs time I want to be fully accredited with my own business underway. Sometime within that 10 years, I want to have lived on an island in Greece and put my architecture skills to good use designing and retrofitting houses and hotels/resorts. I’m passionate about conserving the cultural and architectural heritage of small-town European places that are slowly being overrun with tourists. Not just designing superficially ‘authentic’ buildings, but ones that are actually true to traditional construction methods, passive heating and cooling techniques and so on. I already have the village picked out. It’s the one my Great Grandfather left before WW1 and I’ve visited it before… it’s beautiful!
SM: I’m assuming that when you say, “It’s the one my Great Grandfather left before WW1,” you mean he was from Greece. That other ancestry ties do you have?
Countess: Yeah, he was from a Greek Island. My grandfather is from there and my Grandmother is from Cyprus. They both grew up in the city of Alexandria in Egypt and moved to Australia shortly before my mother was born. On my Dad’s side is all English and some Scottish. Dad’s family came to Australian (from London) 10 generations ago by request of Her Majesty Queen Victoria I. They were settlers in South Australia and came to administer certain elements of the colony. I won’t get too specific because we’re all over the history books. The Scottish part is my other Grandfather. He migrated here from Newcastle in England when he was twenty-something.
SM: You have an interesting bloodline. Getting back to the “ten years” scenario, what’s happening with the future family?
Countess: I want to be back in Australia with a moderate client-base in Greece so I can travel between the two a little. I want to build a house out in the bush where my family’s sheep station is (there’s plenty of room for me, as well as the rest of the family to each have a house out there) and work in the surrounding area designing environmentally friendly houses. I never want to work in an office setting doing 9-5. Camming has spoilt me that way. I also want to try and live off the land as much as possible and eat only locally grown organic produce. As for a husband or wife and kids? Maybe, we’ll see what happens!
SM: Sounds like a wonderful life. With all that work waiting for you ahead, have you found time to learn to cook? If so, what’s your best dish?
Countess: Yep, I love to cook. I have a big vegetable garden in my yard so I cook almost every meal with at least one ingredient I’ve grown myself. At the moment, it’s turning to autumn here so I’m going to have to collect a LOT of seeds for next summer season. The basil is seeding as well as the lemon balm and spinach. I’m also really looking forward to pulling up my second ever crop of carrots and garlic! Also, there are a lot of potatoes just waiting to be dug up. I have a whole heap of pea seeds from a neighbour so they’ll be going in next along with long beans, dill and spring onion.
All the seeds I don’t collect of my own crops are bought from a local seed-sale place that sells completely organic seeds. I find that seeds from companies like Monsanto and other chemical intensive companies only ever grow for 1 season and the crop is way inferior.
I don’t think I’ve ever cooked exactly the same thing more than once, so I don’t really know what my best dish is. My tomato-based pasta sauces are very popular though! The trick is to put the fresh herbs in only about 1 minute before you turn off the stove.
SM: Thanks for the quick tip! I’ve noticed that your life revolves around being “green”. Can you remember what set you on that track?
Countess: Seeing the devastation that has befallen my country and New Zealand as a result of the status quo. I’m not sure if it was the slow inevitable melting of the Fox and Franz Joseph Glaciers, the drying out of the Murray-Darling River systems, the city of Adelaide and its water quality, the city of Perth and how it must mine water from underground in order to get enough to survive, the bleaching of the coral reefs in Queensland, watching the creeks on my family’s property dry up (I used to swim in them, now there’s just a dust bowl there) or the fact that there are 5 year-old children living in Australia that have NEVER seen it rain. It amazes me that people aren’t worried about this like I am.
SM: Wow! That’s quite a bit of information to absorb. You are an intelligent woman.
Countess: I read a lot of books as a kid. As in from about age 2 on up, all I really did was read. I really think that reading a whole lot as a kid helps train your mind to be an intelligent person later on in life. I don’t really think of myself as that smart though. I’m just good at school stuff and really hard work.
SM: Well, people say that there are two kinds of smart, book smart and common sense smart. On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate yourself in each category?
Countess: Common sense smart? I’d ask my Mum… and she’d give me a 2. Bahahaha As for book smart? My last assignment came back with an 87% so I guess I’m an 8.7.
SM: …and you can do quick conversion in your head! Not to shabby Countess. Tell me, what are some common misconceptions about your home country?
Countess: That we all live in the bush and wear funny hats. Almost the entire population lives on the coast in cities or suburbs and wears regular work suits or crappy Kmart staff uniforms. There really isn’t much of a difference between an Australian suburbanite and an American one. I bet if you swapped the two, they’d only notice because the shows on TV were on at different times.
SM: I’ll bet you don’t have American Idol though. Speaking of which, have you ever been to the U.S.?
Countess: Nope! The U.S. seems like a pretty… scary place. I don’t think someone who is scared of dogs, guns, extreme opinions and loud noises (me) should ever go there. I’ve travelled around a lot though. Australia, New Zealand, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Japan, Greece, Cyprus, England, France…
SM: Ohh the U.S. isn’t THAT scary!! That reminds me, me and my dogs are going hunting over by the train station when I get back. I just bought a bazooka so I wanted to try it out. Just teasing!! Well, since you’re afraid of the U.S., how are Australians different than Americans other than the obvious difference in dialect?
Countess: There’s so much stuff! Here’s a small list…
We aren’t allowed to carry guns around, we drive on the opposite side of the road, we don’t have a bill of rights, we have the Queen as well as our own Constitution, elections only take about 1 month to be over and done with, we HAVE to vote, prostitution is legal here…
SM: WAIT!!! You said that prostitution is legal in Australia?!
Countess: As long as you don’t solicit on the street and you pay your taxes, it is. Most countries have legal prostitution in one way or another (England, Scotland, New Zealand, Canada). The U.S. forces a certain religious view by making it illegal and is DRASTICALLY out of step with the rest of the world… Even Iran has legalised it!
Getting back to our differences, we drink more tea. We have more sex. Everyone is given basic health insurance by the government. University is almost free. We use metric. Our drinking age is 18. Christmas is in summer and Easter is in autumn. We never call autumn ‘fall’ because our trees are evergreens. Our money is all different colours ($100 is green, $50 is yellow, $20 is red, $10 is blue and $5 is pink) so we don’t have to pull everything out of our wallet to know what’s in there. Our money is made of plastic so you can take it swimming. …more Asian foods, Mexican food is hard to find. We call ‘ketchup’ ‘tomato sauce’. Everything is smaller here… though not as small as Europe. Our cities are full of amazing birds. The date is written day-month-year instead of month-day-year (because… wtf?). We don’t get so excited over our flag. There aren’t so many bloody people. Employees can’t discriminate against someone based on what they’ve done in the past unless it’s on a criminal record. Our school kids all wear uniforms. Our minimum wages are higher. We don’t tip our waitresses. We have very good social security safety nets like unemployment benefits, income support, disability allowances, and childcare subsidies. We have no separate social security payments – everything is paid out of taxes. We’re a lot more relaxed and we aren’t anywhere near as religious as you lot!
SM: Hmmm…that’s it? I thought there would be more. I’ve noticed that Europeans and Australians don’t use many “Z’s”. Is there some kind of prejudice towards that letter?
Countess: English came before “American English.” I’m doing it right…you are doing it wrong. So there! To quote the great John Cleese in his open letter to America where he fictionally lays out plans for the Revocation of American Independence by the British…
“You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’, skipping the letter ‘U’ is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter ‘Z’ (pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’) and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with correct pronunciation.
“Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in the Jerry Springer show. If you’re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn’t have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won’t have to use bad language as often.
“There is no such thing as ‘US English’. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize.”
It’s a great letter really… I suggest everyone read it. I was practically rolling on the floor laughing by the end of it. And yes, it’s all in fun.
SM: I can’t believe you recited all of that from memory! Well, I see you are a woman of very little words. Have you always been so passionate?!
Countess: In real life I barely talk at all… I saved it all up for you, Jerry! I don’t really think of myself as passionate especially… I’m pretty laid back.
SM: Well, since you are so laid back, what kind of things do you like to do in your spare time?
Countess: …what’s spare time?
SM: I think I already know the answer to this one, but are you a spiritual person? If so, in what ways?
Countess: I wasn’t really raised as a religious kid. My Dad decided I should go to a religious school because that would make me ‘so sick of organised religion that I’d never want to have anything to do with it again’. It worked. In high school, my religious teacher would always avoid me because I’d ask questions that she didn’t want to answer or wasn’t able to answer. I think it frustrated her a lot that I continually came 1st in her class. Τhese days my spirituality is very nature-based and healing-based. My great grandmother was a healer. She did Hijama and I’d love to learn that (and Reiki) soon.
SM: I’m guessing you would learn that in your spare time of which you have none. Ha ha! How about a hypothetical question? If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Countess: I’d make myself more motivated. I’m an epic procrastinator! I get it from by Aussie side and it really has to stop!
SM: Here’s a quesiton that everyone is just dying to know. Are you seeing anyone?
Countess: I see people every day! In the street, at uni, on the bus, on youtube… if you don’t see at least one person every day, then you are too much of a hermit! Haha.
But honestly, I would say yes and no. I’m not dating anyone officially, but I guess I’m ‘seeing’ people. Not in a gross sort of ‘I have sex with loads of people!’ way. I just tend to have a thing for 2-3 people at once. So we go out, have coffee, flirt a lot (I LOVE that nervous energy that happens when I’m with someone that I like who likes me back) snuggle in the park, whatever. I like being close to people and getting excited when they call but I don’t really date seriously. I’m not looking for a lifelong partner at the moment.
SM: Hey look. You and me… sitting in a café… drinking coffee… sparks are flying…
SM: Okay, so I take it that it’s not happening. Damn… Describe for me one of the best nights you have ever had. Where were you and what were you doing?
Countess: New year’s 2006 I think it was. I was at a mansion in Sydney owned by a gazillionare friend of a friend of my ex. I don’t even remember the fireworks I was so completely gone. But I remember being drunk in their Olympic sized pool, in their Turkish sauna (I kept rushing at the door because I thought I was locked in) and running around their tennis court with no top on. I also kissed about 5 people that night, watched an orgy down on the rocks in front of the house and danced the waltz with prince charming (I don’t remember his name, he was lovely).
SM: His name was Jerry and you are welcome. I still have to return that damn pumpkin. Anyway, I know people always say how they love your accent (myself included), what accent do you find sexy?
Countess: Do you know the character Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer? His accent…Wow!
SM: No, but I’ll take your word for it! You, my dear, have a beautiful body. How do you keep it looking so gorgeous?
Countess: I ride my bike everywhere. I have a car, but I really don’t use it at all. It just sits there and looks pathetic. Haha. I don’t go to the gym or anything. Bike riding is plenty because I don’t eat fast food and I cook pretty healthy. I don’t diet. I find as soon as I stop eating carbs or protein I get sick.
SM: I’d like to know what gets you and that diet-less body in the mood for naughty things?
Countess: Kissing. I love kissing.
SM: Are you a sex maniac?
Countess: It really depends on who I’m with. I think that’s the same for everyone!
SM: Fair enough. Let’s talk a little bit about your CamWithHer experience. What inspired you to become a webcam model in the first place?
Countess: I saw an ad on a modeling website. I figured it would be something that would be a very effective way of earning a living because I’m at the computer so much anyway! Also, I figured it’d keep me motivated to exercise more… which it hasn’t haha.
SM: Except for riding the bike of course. Ha ha. You were promoted to CWH a while ago. Can you describe what you felt when you found out? What are some of the perks?
Countess: I was pretty excited! It kinda just happened. There was no real warning so I logged on and suddenly there were all these messages and congratulations and… yeah. Haha. Getting to have a memberchat and be on the main page where the promo happens are definitely perks. As well as getting to know the other girls better and being able to make compilation videos!
SM: Can you describe your thoughts and feelings doing your very first p-chat?
Countess: I was really nervous having never cammed before, but the guy was really nice and it went really well. I must have looked kinda silly. I’m much more relaxed and have a lot more fun now, I think.
SM: Your glasses are like a badge of honor for us four-eyed people. How often do people ask you to take your glasses off and how many of those people have you silently cussed out?
Countess: Haha, almost no one wants me to take them off! I sometimes get people asking me “can you take your glasses off?” in Pchats… I usually just say “Why yes! I forgot they were removable!”
SM: If you can, describe one of the strangest p-chats that you have had.
Countess: Haha, I don’t really know of any one particularly strange one. I once had to just lie down and not do anything… which was odd because why not just look at a picture? Not that I’m complaining. I’ve never been paid to have a nanna nap before!
SM: Ha ha. I bet! Who are some of your best camgirl mates on CWH?
Countess: The other girls that stay up late at night the same as me. Haha. And of course Hollie.
SM: Well Countess, I’m all out of questions so here’s your chance to say anything to your CWH fans.
Countess: Buy me presents! Haha.
Countess can regularly can be seen on CamWithHer, NonNudeCams and ICGirls. Plus, if you’re a member, you can check out her forum here.
Favorite music? Anything with a bit of noise…
Group? Probably the Alkaline Trio or Metallica
Song? Its a tie between School – Supertramp, Closing Time – Semisonic and Nothing Else Matters – Metallica all of which are very mellow, but its that time of year I guess.
Favorite movie? the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Favorite TV show? The Chaser’s War on Everything.
Favorite historical period? Upper Paeleolithic
Favorite sport? Taekwondo… more because its the sport I’ve done the most of and am the most familiar with than anything else.
Favorite book/author/magazine? The Harry Potter Series/John Cleese/The Economist
Favorite color? Purple
Favorite sexual position? I don’t think it has a name yet.
Favorite unhealthy thing to eat? I hate eating unhealthy stuff… I even make my own pizza so its super yummy and very healthy too! I guess ice cream?