I almost forgot to tell you about my crazy dream from the other night! ATTACK OF THE LESBIAN ZOMBIES! hahaha Okay, so from what I remember it was a sort of Day of the Dead setting and a group of us were running into an apartment building. We were out of ammo, so I am the genius who decides to split from the group running to the rooftop for safety & instead go alone to find more ammo. Which would NEVERRRR happen in a real-life zombie attack since I’m a horror movie buff and I KNOW the damn brown people never make it til the end. So anyway, I go into this room with a hole in the ceiling just big enough to crawl into & up to the attic (which symbolizes a vagina or womb according to Freud, further adding to my whole lesbian theme). Once in the attic, I find the magazine clips for my gun, which apparently contained paintballs?? WTF? I guess these zombies had extremely soft skin which could be penetrated by paintballs. Uh… yeah. But once I loaded the clip, there wasn’t enough air pressure to shoot the damn balls! Awesome. All alone in a zombie infested building, with a dud paintball gun. So I ditched the gun & dropped back down into the room. Just then I could hear zombies running up the stairs. And these suckers ran at freakishly high zombie speed! Why couldn’t I dream of those idiots who walk into walls and can’t figure out how to open doors??? WHY?! Because that would be too easy, now wouldn’t it? So I’m haulin ass up the stairs until I reach the top & they’re right on my heels. AH! I whip around the corner and run into this bathroom area. I see a guy jump into the bathtub with another guy (yep, a lil more fuel for my homosexual fire) to hide under the bubbles. Are u f*ckin serious dude??? Bubble Defense??… uh yeah, pass. I see this tight little walk way next to their tub & a small door at the end of it. I run inside it’s a toilet room with a window barely big enough for me to fit in. I try to open the window as I hear the two ass clowns in the bathtub being eaten but before I could get it open, four zombies rip open the door & trap me. FOUR HOT GIRL ZOMBIES. For some reason they didn’t tear me to pieces and devour me right away, so I figured… oh DUH! they must want to have sex with me! Pretty sure if any type of monster doesn’t kill you right away, it’s because they want to use you for sexual gratification. It’s a fact. Look it up. Anyway, so they take my shirt off & I pretend to be “into it” when I’m really scared sh*tless. Two of them, one tall exotic brunette one & one shorter busty blond one come toward me & try to suck my nipples. Hell to the NO! I’m no dummy. If one of their little zombie teeth even scratch me, I’m done for! So I steer them away from my nips and push them toward each other to make-out. I pretend to be enjoying the show when I’m really sliding the window up behind my back. None of them seem to notice as I prop myself up on the windowsill for a better view. And just as they turn to include me in the festivities… WHOOSH…. I drop backward out the window & land on my feet 3 stories down & hit the ground runnin. I know, I’m a badass. Not sure if I actually got away or not because I was still running as the dream ended.
I promise I didn’t smoke PCP right before going to bed. But I always have these crazy, vivid dreams that I can remember in detail the next morning. Haha! Well, I think I’ve made this blog long enough, so I’ll leave you with a pic of my Zombie Slayers 🙂