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By Ling / 8 years ago / In: General ,



Man Im soo achy. With all the moving and working on people, especially the ‘bigger’ people lol, I really could go for a massage. But Im silly…I think it would take time away from doing other things, so of course I havent scheduled one yet. And even if I did, Id be all “Oh no I just wasted an hour!!” lol Someone needs to kick me. I always found it difficult to treat myself, to spoil myself, cause I want to do that to others, not myself! Hahaha. Like when someone offers to pay for lunch or dinner, Im like no no let me!! When really I kinda should let them treat that time, or at least once! My really really good friends know Im like that so they would pre-pay for dinner or lunch! Haha or do something sneaky.

Also when I go to the store or something I always buy something cause “Ooh so and so will like this! Let me surprise him/her by getting it for them!” But I rarely do that for myself. So dumb of me!

I wouldnt call myself a pushover. Its not like if someone says “Go get me dinner” that Ill automatically get it for them. And Im only that way with the people I love and care about anyway so I know they arent ‘demanding’ me or anything. I dunno its weird. Its just hard to take a day just for me and only me. Or do something for only me. Im not that way, thats not how I was raised or how I was born I suppose :P.

Like I always want to take care of someone, that way I know I am making a difference in someones life and that they NEED me. If I had no one to take care of but myself…umm that would be weird. That would mean that no one needs me, well I know it doesnt mean that, I would just feel that way. I NEED to make a difference in someone life lol. So thats why I thrive on doing things for people. Weird I know.

My future husband or whatever will be taken care of so well…but I think to the point where he’ll be like “Ughhh this is too easy, how boring!” lol Like I want to be the one to buy the house, to cook and clean all the time (I like to do those things anyway!!) I wanna do the manly stuff, change tires, oil changes, fix the leaky faucet…hahah I dont think any guy would really like that too much. lol

Well thats enough about my inner drama with myself haha

Hope u guys had a nice 4th of July..everyone has a 4th of July remember!! 😀 Mine was pretty uneventful, but a day off of work, so cant complain about that! I was gonna go out but Im a lil headachy 😛

Toodles! <3

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