Every time I think of how I was acting on Saturday night I want to vomit. I have no Idea what possessed me to behave in such a way. So many people are appalled at my actions as they should be. I just don’t have an excuse… And I want to hug that girl I was heckling, although if I got within five feet of her I’m sure she would knock the shit out of me… and I would deserve it. Ugh, it was a big bad night I wish I could erase.
I can be so freaking irrational at times. There are no explanations for why I feel and do certain things, except for general human emotional folly. Sometimes I am such a scared little girl, the same girl that was made fun of the same way I was making fun of that girl on Saturday night. All I want to do is break away from that self loathing and fear, but when I can’t I tend to find solace in bringing other down into the pits with me. It’s not cool or fair and I am ashamed of myself.
I want! I want! I want! Look at me. The spoiled stupid little brat!
Gah stop being sooo cruel Jessica, all it does is make the world and thus; your true self… worse. Stop the damn cycle of destruction.
Haha, on a SERIOUSLY lighter note… Someone mentioned how my household is like a sitcom yesterday and I can’t stop giggling at the thought. I wish there were “oooohs”, “ahhhhhhs” and laugh tracks at my command. IF ONLY my life were a god damned sitcom, it would be much less stressful I am sure.
Just wondering how many girls who read this blog use moisturizer? How long have you been using it and what kinds?
I’m tired again.