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By Jessica / 9 years ago / In: General ,

Jessica

Jessica

Goodbye Leslie. It was sweet knowing you, I hope you have one hell of a time consorting with filth and living with it as well.

I’m not bitter…

Leslie DID fix my HP. It took like fucking ten hours. The ram wasn’t dead it was just a window XP fuck up. I did find out that the HP is a refurbished laptop and I had no idea that it was, thus; the warranty on that machine was only good for three months and when it died it was 19 days over the damn cut off date. I CAN however by an extended warranty that comes with most HP laptops automatically (provided that they are new and not fucking refurbished) for 200 damn dollars. WTF. Even though this laptop is better than my sony vaio and my desk top, I am so angry at it that I may fucking sell it… or beat it into electrodust for deceiving me. I lost all of my pics and videos I ever loaded on that damn thing while Leslie graciously dedicated her priceless time to repairing it. Talk about a catch 22…

I have umpteen doctors appointments this week. Today I have an appointment to figure out about this random breaking out and get another med refill for my addreral (and ask for an increase in dosage) so I can stop being so depressed and sleeping 24 hrs a day. Also I am going to beg for anxiety medicine so I can maybe um, leave the house sometimes in the future at will and not out of complete necessity. Also the um bipolar meds. I swear I hope I don’t look like a total insane person when I go to the doctors office begging for multiple pills.

I kind of feel like a shit face for not going to Leslie’s going away thingy last night, but I was just trying to avoid feeling trapped, raped of control, and fear. Otherwise, a panic attack. Plus if there were any forks within sight, I would have went to jail for attempted (and hopefully succeeding in, depending on how quick my reactions could be) murder. Oh dear me the hatred boils. That’s probably good for my skin. I may not get to see Leslie again before she moves hours away since I have two appointments tomorrow (the other appointment is to see my head doctor, who tries to talk sense into it). I think the only way to deal with this is to go make a ton of food right now and stuff my face, since of course… there is no alcohol within reach.

I’m now hiding behind a bowl of macaroni salad… good save Jessica.

No really though, I have been drinking less and so on. I am doing fairly well in that aspect of living. I am just extremely, horribly, insanely depressed about Leslie leaving. I can only hope that the last second before she gets in the car to go she has a change of heart and moves into my empty bedroom instead to forever be joined with me in holy matrimony. Yeah flipping right.


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