So um I almost got arrested twice last night and I lost a friend who I guess may have never been a real friend. I don’t know…
So I went to the bar to celebrate my friend Bruce’s birthday with him and my other two friends Anitra and Kyle. I got there and immediate got some smart assed crazy look from Anitra which I still have no idea what that was about really, well I guess I do. She came over and tried pushing me over by grabbing my boobs and started yelling something at Bruce about wanting me the “prostitute” instead of her.
Now Anitra is Kyle’s ex and he is still very much in love with her and Bruce is Kyle’s best friend. Bruce and Anitra were drunkenly making out and Kyle was fucking sobbing and no one would come to their senses and fucking act like they were humans. Blah.
So the dumb ugly bouncer I hate came up to Kyle and told him he was too drunk and he had to leave, and of course I told him to shut the fuck up that it was no fucking business of his and then he told me to leave as well. So I grabbed his man tits and jiggled them and told him to lose some weight and left laughing my ass off. He called the cops and said I tried to push him so on our way walking home the cops pulled up and made us all line up against a building and checked all of our ids.
I was sure they were going to try to take me to jail for something retarded since I am on probation and legally not supposed to drink at all. So they could have technically gave me a breathalyzer and taken me to jail on the spot but instead they just told us to go home and go to bed which we probably should have done but instead we went to Kyle’s house and he put in a movie.
Anitra crawls up on Bruce and starts rubbing his back and Kyle starts sobbing again as loud as hell and they don’t seem to notice or care. I asked them to please get it together and stop making Kyle cry, which resulted in Anitra getting all fucking riled up and screaming at Kyle to take her home. I was getting tired of this immature drunken behavior so I told her to sit down so she came at me with a shoe and started trying to beat me with it.
I decided to run and leave instead I held her down on the ground and held her arms down and she started trying to bite me so I let go of one of her arms and held her jaw down on the ground to keep her from biting and she started beating me in the head with the damn converse again while I was holding her down and telling her to relax. Then her mouth started bleeding from the way I was holding it so Bruce and Kyle pulled me off of her and she tried to lung at me again and Kyle had to grab her and hold her back while I got my shit to leave. Then she flipping called the police on ME and told them I attacked her…
I never dealt with the cops after that because I walked Bruce to another friends house but after Kyle got back from dropping Anitra off he saw the cops walking around my house and shining in flashlights trying to find me, so I totally could have gotten in trouble then too.
So yeah anyways I wrote Anita an email apologizing for hurting her face and tried to explain that I was just trying to hold her down while her drunk ass was attacking me with a shoe and she wrote back how she is through with me and tried to insult me.
Am I wrong here? No people are just flipping crazy and everyone needs to take a chill pill and if Anitra really thinks I was making an effort to try to hurt her that’s insane considering she pushed me once at the bar and then attacked me at Kyle’s house. If I did try to whoop her ass I would technically have every right to, but I was being the adult and just trying to hold her down while she calmed the hell down, if she wouldn’t have attacked me and tried to bite me I wouldn’t have had to do that. So it’s her own damn fault her face is scratched or whatever.
1) If you could only live in one single month for the rest of your life, which would it be and why?
October because I love the leaves in the fall and Halloween is the best holiday ever.
If you got a cow really steaming drunk just before it produced it’s next batch of milk, would the milk be alcoholic?
I doubt it.
3)If it was, would you try it?
I don’t drink cows milk anyways, so no.