I’m not very good at celebrating holidays for their traditional reasons. I’m all about the superficial fun, the decorations, the food, the drinks, but the friends and family are probably most important. I don’t get to see my loved ones as much as I’d like to these days. I guess that’s part of being an adult.
I’ve been super moody lately. I’m not the type to hold that sorta stuff in as most of you know. I just can’t fake being happy. Or maybe I just refuse to. I’m not sure. I know that I’m constantly worried that me being too honest about my feelings, and not holding back effects my social life and my work. No one likes a pessimist, a complainer, a derogatory bitch. If they do, it’s just a temporary fascination. They grow tired of my bullshit after a short amount of time. Even the other dark and bitter folks need a break from me. 😛 I just can’t seem to change. I try to keep a positive outlook on every aspect of my life. It’s so hard! It shouldn’t be this difficult to change my attitude, but it seems like I just can’t break the old habit of being a negative Nancy.
Wow. These blog entries are seriously therapeutic sometimes. Maybe my honesty has a place, and that place is here. Forgive the sappy nature of this entire entry. I’m sure my manic break through is enough to make anyone vomit up their morning coffee.
Okay, let’s try to add a positive tone as I wrap this up. So I’m headed to a family BBQ this afternoon. I’m pretty excited. I’m going to try to dress lovely and take a few candid pictures to share. I’m also plan on keeping the alcohol consumption to a minimum. Which for me, means at least one or two drinks. And I’m going to enjoy some good ol’ unhealthy BBQ food without feeling guilty. Because I deserve it as a reward. I’m pretty proud of my healthy eating habits lately. Maybe I’ll skip the bread and the dessert still so I don’t over do it.