Oh I am so sorry. I completely forgot to write in blogs. Maybe it’s because my life is lame, and there isn’t much to write about. Maybe it just all ties into my slackerness. Maybe I just hate you. One thing is for certain, I have not been writing in the blogs. So, what’s new?
Well – I’ve been through a really rough time the past 3 months, especially this last month. Normally, I would blame it on anything but myself, but I’ve come to realize that it’s pretty much all my fault. The good thing about it being my fault is that I have the power to make it better. And I am. The three main things that I have been really, really sad about lately are not being close to my family, not being in school, and not talking with my ex anymore.
I’m in the process of fixing things with my family. For the past 3 weeks I have eaten out with my dad at least once a week. I’m going to this seminar that lasts 6 weeks (I only have to meet up 3 weekends out of those 6 weeks, but I have to contact my “buddy” everyday) and I’m really hoping that’ll help motivate me to change a few other things in my life like how I’m not too social, because I get so nervous about what others will think of me.
As for school, if everything works out, I’ll be taking a class this summer, and I cannot even explain how excited I am to FINALLY be going back to school. Back in high school, my awesome grades were one of the things that I took pride in, and now that I’ve been out of school for almost three years, I feel like a failure, and useless. It’s really hurt my self-esteem being out of school. So I’m really, really glad that I’m starting up again.
There isn’t much I can do about the ex-boyfriend situation. As much as I know that’s it’s really good that we aren’t together, it’s still hard. I even want this, because things weren’t right and I wasn’t getting enough positive things from the relationship. So I’m glad that it’s over, but I’m sad because I’m very close to him and I’ve been through some really, really deep and rough crap with him. But now I have to time focus on myself and my own problems so I can start fixing them. And hopefully when I’m ready for a relationship, it’ll be a healthy one this time. And hopefully the guy will respect me and like me for who I am, and not who he’d like me to be. I respect my ex-boyfriend so very much, and I’m glad I met him.
So that’s what’s been up with me.