Is a bad thing. I am the worst drunk person ever. Seriously. I think I’m going to limit my drinking to 3 shots of vodka for the whole night, and that’s it. I am the meanest, craziest, wildest drunk ever and I do things I always regret doing the next day. I will take this past Friday night as an example. So I had 3 shots of Grey Goose before I went out. I was talking on line. My typing became worse and worse. And I figured, alcohol doesn’t make you a crappy typer, just a lazy one. Backspace, what??? No..I’ll stick to Enter Enter Enter. So after those three shots, I felt quite happy and buzzed. I head out to the club and drink more. Red bull and vodka and of course just straight vodka. So I’m feeling a little happier. More drunk. So I go and dance on this platform thing because me drunk = me thinking I have dancing skills. So I spill a little bit of my drink on this guy that is on the floor below and he starts bitching at me, so I bitch back and tell him to EFF off. He doesn’t. He stays around to whine like a bitch, so I yell at him again and mug him in the head. Good going, Nicole. Sober Nicole wouldn’t DREAM of hitting anyone. Sober Nicole is a chicken. Drunk Nicole is a crazy biatch who mugs people for talking shit. Ummmmm NO. So…..thus far we can conclude that I am a terrible typer and an angry person whilst drunk. But the night didn’t end there. So I go in VIP to get cheap drinks and I thumb wrestle this guy. What for? I have no idea. I also thumb wrestle another guy for a spot in the bathroom line. I lost anyway, but having teets let me get ahead in the line anyway. So whatever, whatever. I dance, dance and dance some more. I LOVE dancing when drunk. I don’t flirt with any guys or let flirting happen because……well I really have no idea. I am the most unapproachable person ever. Maybe I’m lez. Who knows. So the night ends with me not remembering anything but dancing. So I’m in the parking lot. And for some reason, I flash my ass. Now why? I don’t know, because I don’t remember. But my friends said I flashed my ass and one of the bouncers I know had to come and stop me because I was getting visually raped by guys and he felt it was soon going to progress to actuall rapeage. Thanks, pal. Seriously.
And after all that, I wake up in the morning on my couch with the biggest hang over of my life. And for what??? Nothing. So I give up on drinking. For a little while.